For disclaimer, see Part 1
Mail:LunarMyth



She sat in the middle of his bed, her arms propping her up from behind. She let her head fall back as she lost herself in her thoughts, the golden strands of her hair tickling her bare arms.

A week had passed since everything had gone down. Only three days since Kiara had returned. Just thinking about the incidents of the past week made Buffy's head spin. She had yet to make and sense of it all. Then again, when you lived on top of a Hellmouth, you learned to take these things in stride.

She was yanked from her reverie as the force of her heavy bags being tossed on the bed caused her to bounce up and down. Her eyes flew open and she realized that her startled gaze was focused on the broad expanse of Angel's bare chest. She swallowed thickly and slowly trailed that gaze up his body. But Buffy was caught off guard when she saw the anger sparking in his own dark eyes. Her heart contracted and began to race as thoughts flew through her mind. Had Angelus somehow returned? Had Kiara's return brought back the demon?

"Angel?" she said cautiously.

Angel looked down at the beautiful, golden woman-child reclining on his bed. He longed to touch her, to feel her smile, to hear her heart sing. But regardless of what had transpired, it was still impossible. He'd made his decision and he was sure it was the right one. Wasn't it? He could so easily read the emotions going through her and felt his resolve weaken. And when she spoke his name, so soft and in need of reassurance, all he wanted to do was hold her and calm her every fear. But he wouldn't.

Angel turned from her and began buttoning the black shirt that was draped over his wide shoulders. "What?" he asked, not daring to look into her large, expressive green eyes.

Buffy watched the lean muscles of his back rippling beneath the black shirt as he jerked the fabric and fought with the buttons. It was obvious to her that his mind was not on the task. She tried to catch her breath and form the words that would bring him to her, but she couldn't. So she knelt upon the bed and laid a hand on his shoulder. He tensed at her soft touch, but turned willingly under her direction. She gently knocked aside his fumbling fingers and proceeded to button his shirt swiftly. "There," she murmured quietly in the deafening silence of the room.

Angel watched her fingers fly over his shirt, could feel their warmth hover over his skin. As he let his guard down, his gaze wandered. He watched appreciatively as the gentle swell of her breasts rose and fell with her breath, until he realized what he was doing. He pulled away from her and focused his eyes on the wall behind her. "I know how to dress myself," he said tightly.

Her sparkling gaze shot up once again in her surprise at his tone. What had she done to make him act this way? "I...I know. I was just...trying to...help," she trailed off as the tension between them began to sing once more.

Angel nodded. *What's going on with you? This is Buffy. This is the woman you love. Ahh, yes. But if I give in now, she'll never leave. And she can't stay....*

"Thanks" he murmured and turned from her once more.

Buffy clenched her fists in frustration. What was going on? Wasn't this the same man who only three days ago had promised to love her forever? Now he was acting as if...as if she was a piece of baggage he couldn't wait to get rid of. There was only one explanation Buffy could think of.

"Is she staying?" she asked.

Angel looked at Buffy over his shoulder. She could tell that her question confused him. "What? Is who staying?" The minute the words slipped out of his mouth, he realized what she was asking. He almost flushed. Did she doubt him so much?

Buffy opened her mouth to explain, but he cut her off. "No," he said shortly, still not facing her. "Didn't you know she's going back to Sunnydale with you and...." a disgusted look ran over his face, though Buffy couldn't see it. "Spike," he spat out.

*Oh yeah. Spike. Well, they did hit it off pretty well. And with Dru out of the picture...I could see them getting cozy* Buffy thought. *She'd do him a world of good. Ha. Spike....good? Who am I trying to kid?* Well, with Kiara out of the picture, Buffy had no idea why Angel was treating her this way. It hurt. She loved him so much, didn't he know that? Couldn't he see how much this was tearing her apart? It had been hard enough losing him the first time...now that he could love her freely...he didn't seem to want her around.

"Angel...what's going on?"

Angel closed his eyes. It tore his heart apart to hear her, his strong Slayer who could take on any foe, whisper his name, anguish apparent in her tone. Why couldn't she just leave? Couldn't she see how hard it was for him to let her go again? Didn't she know how much he loved her, how much he wanted to pick her up in his arms and.... But it was better this way. She had to know that. She had to realize that it didn't matter if his soul was permanent. He was still a monster. And if she committed herself to him, her life would never be normal - in *any* way - again.

Angel turned back to her. "Nothing," he said. "Nothing's going on Buffy. But I think it's time -"

"I went," she finished. "Yeah, I should go. The gang'll be here any minute."

Angel nodded. "Yeah." His mouth quirked in a half-grin. "I know how much Xander would love to come in and visit, but I'm sure all of you are ready to get back to Sunnydale. Back to some semblance of normalcy."

*Normal?* she thought. *We live on a Hellmouth. Besides....nothing has been normal since you left.*

Buffy coughed. "Yeah. I mean....yeah." She gave him a weak smile. "Thanks for, ummm...packing my stuff up. I don't know what came over me. I'm usually an early riser."

He shrugged. "No problem. Besides," he frowned worriedly, "you needed the rest. I think you've been overexerting yourself. You should take a few days off once you get back home."

*Home....home....home is where the heart is.* Buffy smiled slightly. "Right, and let Kiara take over? I think she'd have the place cleared out in no time. Then I'd be out of a job."

"Buffy-"

"Angel-"

They laughed awkwardly, and Buffy sighed. At Angel's nod, she continued what she was about to say. "Angel, I don't want to leave this way. I think if you had it your way, we'd never see each other again. But I won't let that happen. I've tried to move on. But everywhere I turn, you're there. And you know what? I like it that way. I want you in my life. I want to wake up every morning next to you. And regardless of age, regardless of the fact that I'm the Slayer and you're a vampire, regardless of the fact that I'm mortal and you'll live forever...my soul...belongs with yours. And you know that. And neither of us is ever going to be happy without the other...so...." Buffy flopped back onto the bed and propped herself up on her elbows while stretching her legs out in front of her. "I'm not going anywhere. Not until you can look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't feel the same way." Her wide, shining eyes glared up at him, issuing him a challenge he could not refuse.

"Buffy..." Angel said warningly. "You have to go. Your friends will be here soon."

"I don't care," she said petulantly. "Tell me that you don't want me. Tell me that you don't dream of me. Tell me that you don't love me."

Angel leaned down, resting his palms on the foot of the bed. "I couldn't tell you that before and I can't tell you that now. I love you Buffy. You're everything in this world that I have to live for. But-"

"But nothing!" she shouted. "Angel, you love me. I love you. Why shouldn't we be together? Because of your mistaken need to be noble and do the right thing? This *is* the right thing. After everything, *everything*, we've done to be together...you want to throw it all away? I can't do this anymore, Angel. I can't pretend I don't love you." Buffy dropped her gaze to her lap. "I don't wanna do this anymore," she whispered. "I don't wanna love you and know I can't have you. I don't wanna wake up every day, and for the first five seconds of the morning, be victim to the insane hope that everything has been a dream and you'll be lying there beside me. Because it never happens." Tears rolled down her cheeks when she hazarded a bewildered glance up at him, never stopping her hushed tirade. "Every morning I get up and I go to school and I hide what I feel. I even convinced myself that this was for the best. And every night I go out and slay all the bad things that threaten the rest of the world's safe little cocoon. And I wonder why. Why it is that I make this world right for everyone else - safe for them to love and be happy. Why it is that I can't have the same things. You've lived a far longer life than I have, Angel. But you can't tell me it's been any happier. You've experienced things I can't even imagine. But when the most wondrous thing in the world is staring you in the face, you can't reach out and take hold of it. Love isn't something that happens everyday. You know that. But we have it, Angel. Our love is....immortal." Buffy shook her head, managing a small grin. "You ask for redemption, Angel. But that's not a thing you gain if you save enough souls. I know the things you've done. Yet I won't...can't...stop loving you. Isn't that redemption?"

Angel looked down at her. Emotions warred deeply inside of him. He wanted to believe her, knew she was right, but he wouldn't risk her life just to find happiness in his own.

Her voice was soft and resigned as she finished. "If I haven't convinced you that we belong together, then I don't think anything will...." She watched him carefully. When he made no move at all, she nodded, her heart breaking. "Ok then. I'll go."

"Wait," he said, his voice strained. She turned her head slowly. He couldn't help but notice the small glimmer of hope spark to life in her eyes. He cursed himself for what he was about to do, but he couldn't let her just walk away.

His long fingers wrapped around her slender ankles, and with one strong tug he'd pulled her across the bed and was standing between her legs. Buffy gasped and stared up at him, unsure of what his actions meant. However, her confusion did not last long.

Angel reached out and traced a fingertip over her soft lips. Knowing that everything depended on her, Buffy gazed into his fathomless eyes, so dark they were almost black, and flicked out her tongue, licking his skin and drawing his finger between her parted lips. She shivered as the coldness invaded her hot mouth. Angel watched her, the creamy glow of her cheeks, the red blush that tinted her pink lips, the emerald shine of her eyes half closed, and a small smile played over his mouth. Her warm tongue, accompanied by the gentle suction of her mouth, was arousing to him. But it was the unbidden declaration of love in those bright eyes that made him shrug off the last of his inhibitions.

With one fluid, effortless motion, he'd wrapped his arms around her and lifted her into a sitting position in front of him. Angel leaned his knees into the mattress to balance himself, and ran his hands over her small form. She was so small compared to him. It amazed him sometimes that she was so capable. His large hands caressed her torso through the thin silk of her lavender camisole. The upward movements of his hands ceased as his thumbs traced the outer curve of her breasts. Buffy raised her gaze to his and smiled knowingly. He groaned softly and ran his hands up her back, to bury them in the silky strands of her hair as he pulled it loose from its ponytail.

"Angel," she whispered.

Angel dropped his hands to her shoulders. He could feel the delicate bones within, so fragile. The urge to protect her always rose strongly in him, but he almost laughed. These bones did not need much protection. She gracefully carried the weight of the world on them most times. He hooked his thumbs under the thin straps of the flimsy shirt and drew them down her arms.

"Mmmm?" he questioned absently, all of his attention centered on the sight of her perfect breasts bared for his perusal.

Buffy blushed hotly and Angel grinned as he noticed the flush creep over her smooth skin. Leaving the straps to somewhat bind her arms to her sides, he knelt down on the floor between her thighs. As his left hand traveled up her sleek thigh, his right hand moved to cup her breast. His fingertips traced circles around the pert nipple. Angel leaned his forehead against her shoulder as his fingers slid under her short skirt and beneath the soft lace of her panties. He could feel the wetness seeping form her core, and it made him smile. He tilted his head down and captured the taut nipple in his cool mouth. His tongue lapped at the hard pebble and his teeth playfully nipped at it.

As he continued his suckling motions, his other hand slipped into her slick warmth. Angel moaned deep in his throat as he listened to the small catches of her breath. He massaged the center of her sensitivity, enjoying the feel of her rocking against his hand.

Buffy felt like she was floating. Being with Angel felt like home. This was where she belonged. She sighed and twisted her body in a silent entreaty for freedom. She was rewarded as the straps of her camisole slid down her arms. Buffy raised her hands to bury her fingers in his thick hair. He played her body like a musical instrument; his fingers made her body sing. She pulled his head up to meet her in a kiss. Their differences in temperatures was like a blast to her body. She shivered as the desire coursed through her, streaking like liquid heat to her womanhood. She sighed against him as their tongues sparred with each other. Buffy felt as if she were being devoured.

It had been so long since anyone had made her feel this way. In fact, no one had since Angel. It seemed as if he and only he had the key to her passions. She wrapped her legs around him in a plea for closeness. Her hunger for him was beyond reason. She trembled against him as his fingers drew her to the edge of reasoning. Sensing how near she was, Angel pulled back. Buffy cried out in discontent and pulled him back down to her, but he just laughed.

He lifted her up and placed her in the middle of the bed, his own body following with ease. Buffy, however, was not feeling as passive. She reached up and tore his shirt open, ripping the buttons she had so carefully closed earlier. Angel quirked a brow as he looked down at her.

"That was one of my favorite shirts," he said playfully.

Buffy growled. "I like it more now. It's a shame, hiding *that* chest."

Laughter rumbled from deep inside *that* chest. Unfortunately he choked on it when Buffy's hands began caressing him, her nails raking over his icy skin and hard nipples.

"I love the way you feel against me," she murmured.

Angel felt breathless as he watched the temptress beneath him. With haste he pulled the silken clothes from her body. He hooked his fingers around the lacy straps of her panties and drew them off her slim legs with excruciating slowness. With a shrug he removed his own shirt and shot her a wicked grin. Angel gathered her in his arms, his weight pressing her into the mattress. She slid her warm hands over the smooth muscles of his back, feeling them dance beneath her fingertips.

Unsatisfied with their proximity, Buffy reached down and glided his pants over his hips and firm buttocks. They laughed as their legs got tangled in her attempt to kick his pants off of him. As they settled down, Angel wrapped his arms around her and rested his forehead against hers.

"You're sure this is what you want?" he asked softly, his deep brown eyes gazing into her lush green eyes.

Buffy nodded. "Make love to me, Angel."

He positioned himself above her, nudging her thighs apart gently with his knee. Angel entered her slowly, letting her adjust to the feel of him. Her slick heat scalded him and he wanted nothing more than to bury himself in her, but he held back. Buffy arched up, seeking greater contact. His cold, hard length slid deeply inside of her, and she instinctively wrapped her body around his. Understanding that she was ready, Angel withdrew and moved inside of her with a slow, deep rhythm. He rose up and joined their hands, their fingers entwining of their own accord. He stared down into her luminous eyes and saw his every emotion mirrored in their abyss. With a contented certainty, Angel bent his head down to capture Buffy's mouth is a tender kiss. No words were needed. He spoke to her in that kiss, just as she answered with the sweet acceptance of her body. He felt the tautness of her body and saw the fine sheen of perspiration upon her warm, golden skin. He wanted this forever.

Buffy arched up to meet his every thrust. It was she who increased their tempo. They moved together in the age old dance. Only the sound of her breathing and that of their bodies joining could be heard in the dimly lit room. Buffy felt as if they had traveled to another time. A time where nothing existed but the two of them; where there were no consequences to be seen by the light of day.

Angel fought back the hunger. He could feel the bloodlust rising within him. He'd hoped that with the release of the demon part of him things would change, but obviously they hadn't. He still craved her thick, sweet blood. He drove into her, rocking their bodies hard, as he fought the shift. But it was to no avail. He knew exactly when he morphed into his game visage. Angel threw his head back, the muscles in his arms and back bulging as he strained above her. He could feel Buffy tensing around his shaft, could feel how close she was.

Buffy felt her juices flowing over her thighs, against his, and onto the bed. They slid against each other, the delicious friction causing her to clench around him. She was aware that he had changed. She also knew he did not want her to know. But it didn't matter to Buffy. She leaned up and captured his lips in a passionate kiss. She wanted him to know that she loved him no matter what face he presented. A low growl escaped him and he rammed into her. Caught off guard, Buffy squealed and raised her hips in offering to him. He plunged into her over and over again, and drove Buffy over the edge. She convulsed against him. He could feel her milking him and had to stifle his urge to sink his fangs into the tender flesh of her neck. As her heat moved in waves over him, he came, spilling his cold seed into her.

As Angel slowed his pace, he collapsed onto her. Buffy didn't mind. She didn't want him to ever move from her. She wrapped her arms loosely around him, her breath coming in short pants. She pressed a kiss to the crown of his head as he rested on the pillow of her breasts.

"I love you," she whispered.

Angel closed his eyes, trying to will his face back to normal. "I love you too. Forever."

They laid in silence for what seemed like forever.

Eventually, Angel rolled over, afraid he would crush her if he didn't move. He sat on the edge of the bed with his back to her. He didn't know how to apologize for his behaviour. Because he wasn't sorry. He just hated that fact that she had to see him like this...during such an intimate moment.

"Angel..." Buffy started. She saw him tense, but felt the need to continue. "Angel, why didn't you-"

"Don't," he said softly, his voice pleading with her. He lifted his pants from the floor and put them on. As he stood to button them, he turned around. She was small and proud, sitting in the middle of his massive bed. Her hair tumbled in disarray around her shoulders, her lips were swollen from their kisses, and her eyes flashed prettily as she glared at him. She would have been picture perfect...had she not been glaring. He took in the useless air and sighed.

"Buffy please. I thought I could control it...but I couldn't. I'm sorry."

"I don't want you to be sorry. I trust you."

"I know," he said, resigned. "And what if I hadn't been able to control myself? I could kill you. And I couldn't live with that."

"You wouldn't."

"How can you be so sure?" he asked angrily. He was furious at himself for risking her life. He'd promised himself he wouldn't do it. On the bright side, he did note, his soul seemed to be intact. *Thank you, Kiara.*

Buffy wrapped the sheet around her and moved from the bed, picking up her discarded clothes. "You know what, Angel? Fine. I love you. A once-in-a-lifetime-love- to-end-all-loves kinda love. But if you can't deal with that, I can't make you. God knows I've tried." She stopped and turned from him, her shoulders shaking with dry sobs.

"Buff-"

"No!" She spun around. "Don't," she said much more quietly. "Don't, Angel. You're so afraid that you'll end up hurting me....you can't see that this is killing me."

They stared at each other, each battling for a cause they believed in.

A horn sounded in the distance.

Then a knock at the front door.

Angel was the first to turn away. "That would be Xander," he said ruefully.

Buffy stared at him a moment longer, her green eyes sparkling with unshed tears. She swallowed hard and nodded. "I'll just get dressed."

Angel paused. He considered throwing caution to the wind and asking her to stay. But he knew, even if she didn't, that they couldn't have a life together. It was hard enough for her already. He couldn't add more stress to that. She was better off without him. Angel turned and walked out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Buffy sank to the floor, releasing the flood gates. She was so angry, so hurt. She sniffled and looked around the room as her torrent of tears subsided. She threw on her clothes and checked her make-up, making sure her eyes weren't too red. She could pass them off as being bloodshot from a rough night's rest. With a sigh she gathered her bags and walked to the door. She glanced around the room again, still heady with the tension of their lovemaking.

She ran her fingers through her hair and opened the door. The gang was saying good- bye to Angel. She smiled as she watched Xander, hinting none too subtly that they should leave. Cordy was with them, but Buffy knew she was staying in L.A. with Angel. She'd made a new life for herself here. And she liked it. Xander, however, was keeping his distance from her. Yeah, the sexual tension between those two definitely hadn't died with their relationship.

As she walked towards the group, Buffy noticed Willow shooting her odd looks. She wondered for a horrified second if they could tell what had recently transpired, but then realized that Will was just worried about how she was dealing with having to leave Angel behind.

"Slayer, you look like you've been put through the ringer. Have you been fighting with another vampire behind my back?" Spike teased. *Woah....Spike teased? Kiara must be having a *real* good effect on him.*

Buffy smiled wanly. "Watch it, Spike. I could stake your ass on a bad day with my eyes closed."

He grinned. "Is that an invitation, luv?"

Kiara elbowed him and smiled when he grunted loudly.

Buffy arched a brow. "Been taking lessons from Will?" she asked, just as Willow elbowed Xander for a crass comment he whispered to her.

The small, black haired woman grinned. "Hey. It's almost the 21st century. I need to update my slaying techniques."

Buffy rolled her eyes with a grin. "I've heard about your maneuvers. I think you're light-years ahead of us all."

Kiara shrugged. "Ok, then. I just enjoy it?" she elbowed Spike again for the hell of it and received a very loud growl for her efforts.

"Be careful, dearest. You just might bring out the beast in me," Spike warned her.

"Unnecessary warning, *luv*. You're always a beast."

Buffy watched as the group walked out of the door, sparring verbally good-naturedly. She smiled slightly as she looked up at Angel.

"Well....at least I won't be bored."

Angel smirked. "Not with that group. I really don't think Spike knows what he's getting in to."

Buffy nodded. "True. But it'll be nice to see him brought down a peg or two on the ego scale."

Angel smiled at the thought. It faded, however, when he looked down to Buffy. "You'll be ok? And you'll get some rest like I told you?

"I'll be fine," she assured him.

He nodded. "Take care of yourself...."

"You too."

Buffy leaned up and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek. "Love you," she murmured as she turned and walked out of his apartment.

Angel watched from the doorway.

"And I'll always love you, Buffy."





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