For disclaimer, see Part 1.
Mail:LunarMyth@yahoo.com
Willow and Buffy sat outside in Angel's courtyard. The sun shined down on them and the
flowers bloomed vibrantly around them. Buffy inhaled and once again marveled at the life
around her. It was a place she was sure Angel would never be able to enjoy fully.
"So what's the verdict?" Willow asked her.
"Huh?"
"You still love him, don't you?" her voice was soft.
"Of course I do. But...it doesn't matter. We're not together."
"That's not how it seemed last night."
"Oh Will. Last night was just business. We were looking for some of his business
contacts."
"C'mon Buffy. We all saw you two last night. It was almost as tragic as...as...as
'Titanic' or..or 'Romeo and Juliet'," Willow said.
Buffy smiled slightly, her eyes on the stone pathway through the garden.
Willow's gaze moved to the open French doors. She thought of the two unsuspecting
vampires sleeping inside.
"Dammit, it's not OK, Buffy. This is - is hurting you. Yes, we all wanted things to work
out between Angel and you, but it didn't. And you're not moving on. You've got to get over this.
I know you're afraid to love. Afraid that you'll get hurt again. But you have to get passed that if
you really want to be happy again."
Buffy shivered as Willow's words rang true. "Maybe you're right."
Willow looked indignant. "Of course I'm right. I'm wisdom-gem girl. I'm always
right."
Buffy laughed slightly. "I miss being happy. I miss being able to laugh at everything."
Willow was quiet when she answered. "You've got the chance right in front of you."
"Aidan?"
"He's a good guy. And - and he really cares about you, Buffy. Would he be here if he
didn't? Hell, would he subject himself to Cordy if he didn't?"
Buffy laughed louder. "You've got a point there."
Willow smiled. "See? What'd I tell ya? Wisdom-gem girl to the rescue."
"Seize the Fish." Buffy quipped.
"So, where'd you head off to last night, Spike?" Xander asked, reclining on Cordy's
loveseat.
"What's it to ya?"
"Come on, Junior. Tell," Xander nagged,
Spike smiled lewdly. "Maybe I got lucky."
"Oh? Is that what they're callin' a bite these days?"
"No, my dear boy. It's what I'm calling the goddess I met last night. The likes of which
you would never get your hands on."
"Oh? Is that so? And what about your precious Dru?"
Spike's eyes narrowed and in a flash he's toppled Xander to the ground, his long fingers
squeezing the life out of his throat.
"Woah," Xander choked out. "Why does this always have to happen to me?"
Aidan strolled out of the bathroom just then. With one look at the situation, he picked up
one of the lamps and smashed it over Spike's head. Spike let Xander go and turned on Aidan.
Pieces of the lamp were scattered at his feet.
Xander looked up. "Cordy's not going to like that," he said, just before passing out.
Aidan looked at Spike. "C'mon man. I don't want any trouble from you."
Spike growled menacingly and took a step towards Aidan. "Number one, I'm not your
*man*. And number two, don't you ever do anything like that again, unless," he nodded to
Xander, "you want to end up worse than my amigo over there."
Aidan shrugged and walked past him. He knelt beside Xander to see if he was okay.
"Did anyone catch the number of that bus?" Xander asked as he came around.
"Hey. Shower's yours," Aidan said, giving him a hand up.
"Thanks," Xander mumbled, thinking maybe Aidan wasn't so bad afterall.
Aidan sat on the loveseat where Xander had been moments before. Spike settled back
down across from him. They stared, measuring each other up.
Oz found them this way an hour later. "Woah," he said. "Major starage goin' on, eh? I
get the feeling we're not just trying to see who can go the longest without blinking."
With one last, meaningful glance at Aidan, Spike turned to Oz. "Hey Oz. How are you
this fine afternoon?"
"Ooooh. I'm excited. Can't you tell?" He looked at Spike blankly.
"Careful, mate. You might rile the neighbors."
"Yeah," Oz said. "I get that a lot."
"So, what's got you in such a tizzy?"
"Willow," Oz replied, a small smile threatening to shine through.
"Ahhhh. Red. Don't blame ya, mate. She looks delicious."
Oz stared at him.
Spike grinned evilly. "In a purely non-bloodsucking way, of course."
"Mmmm." Oz moved to the kitchen to make a sandwich, letting the subject drop.
Xander walked out minutes later and spotted Oz. "Hey, Oz. Where's Will?"
Oz took a bite of his lunch. "Mwf Bwffwy."
Xander nodded. "Cool. We still on for tonight?"
Oz nodded.
"Oh yeah!" Xander exclaimed. "I'm so ready for some red hot monkey love."
The three guys turned to stare at him as if he were crazy.
"What? Why do I always get that look when I say that?"
The guys mumbled to themselves and went back to what they were doing.
* * *
The dream was different this time...
He stood in the middle of the lavish boudoir. He looked around, intrigued by her
various possessions. The room itself was an anomaly to him. Not what he was used to. It was
a large room, but gave off the appearance of an unearthly light. She'd decorated it in bright
whites and ivorys, the furnishings were finely carved from polished mahogany. What held his
attention most, however, was the massive ornate gilt mirror hung over her vanity. It, of course,
did not reflect either of them. He hated the room. It was so humane. He looked over his
shoulder and saw the girl resting on the plush white velvet cushions of her window seat. It
amazed him that he'd been with the weak vampiress for five years. He could feel the steel core
that ran through her, but she didn't hunt, didn't ravage, didn't torture. *She could have been one
of the greats* he thought wistfully. She disgusted him in her mortal facade. And it only enraged
him more to know that she did not do it purposefully. She truly was as good and innocent as she
seemed. Her purity burned him. But he could not leave her. She was his obsession. The
passion that she inspired in him never ceased to amaze him. He'd never known such a hunger
could be felt. She enticed him to a frenzied bloodlust, yet soothed him at the same time. Oddly
enough, he never left her embrace wanting. Actually, when he left her presence he felt neither
the need to feed nor to pillage. Not to say he didn't still kill and revel in his cruelty, in his
demon. It was his favorite past time. *Well, second favorite* he thought, looking at Kiara. It
sickened him. She made him feel almost....human.
He despised her. He craved her. He ached to break her.
She turned, feeling his eyes upon her. Her smile was sure and quick to come. He
tossed the garment in his hands to her. "Put this on," he commanded.
She lifted the sheer fabric in her small hands and stood up. There was a quiet curiosity
in her gaze as she walked behind the silk screen in the corner. Angelus had ordered her to put a
standing candelabra behind the screen and he was now rewarded for his idea.
He leaned
against her armoire and watched the lines of her lithe body as she slipped out of her clothes and
into his creation. As she moved from behind the shade he pushed off of the armoire and strode
towards her. He held her at arms length and looked her over. It startled him every time he saw
her that her complexion was not pale as was the norm. Her tanned skin shadowed itself beneath
the filmy white gauze of the gown. It hid nothing and accentuated everything. He smiled
slightly as he noticed the fabric was pulled almost tautly over the gentle swell of her breasts.
He rubbed his cold hands over the smooth skin of her shoulders, cupping them behind her neck.
His gazed roamed over her, enjoying the sight of the thin fabric clinging to her long, slender legs. He
slowly slid one hand from behind her neck, down between her full breasts, over the firm
muscles of her stomach, to lightly caress the shadowy V at the juncture of her thighs. She sighed
and arched into him. Angelus grinned maliciously as he withdrew his hands. Her eyes flew open in
shock and then she smiled.
"Oh my Angel," she sighed.
He'd gotten used to the name, but it still unsettled him. He nodded towards the large
canopy bed which sat on a raised dais in the middle of the room. "Over there," he ordered her.
She climbed onto the luxurious bed, settling into the soft nest of white bedclothes and
down pillows. He watched her critically before pulling up a tall wingbacked chair and sitting
down at the foot of the bed. Her side was to him, but her knees were slightly raised and her
arms wrapped loosely around them, forming a pillow for her head as she turned to watch him.
He silky black hair cascaded like a waterfall down her back and curled around the folds in the
bedclothes. He pulled out his sketch book and a sharpened stick of charcoal. His fingers flew
as he began to draw her.
They'd done this many times before. Her eyes were dancing with laughter as she
watched him. "Oh my Angel. What am I going to do with you?"
He was intent upon sketching the soft lines and curves of her body, but he felt his hard
lips curve into a half smile. "Dunno, luv. I'm sure you can think of something to do with
me....for me...to me.....after I'm finished with this."
She was the epitome of a woman-child. She was innocence and sexual awareness, love
and desire. It proved to be a juxtaposition he could not ignore. And so he sketched her body at
every chance. Yet it wasn't the physical beauty he was after. It was her essence; through his
drawings he sought to find out what it was about her that enchanted him so.
He painstakingly drew her. But it was the eyes that completed the picture. They were
different this time. He didn't know how he captured it, but the eyes shone out of the picture with
all the love, grace, empathy and desire she held inside. He wanted to rip it to shreds. He stood
up and placed it on her vanity table, watching as for once she was reflected in the giant mirror
on her wall. She smiled at him as he walked towards her. He reminded her of a caged lion,
dangerous and waiting to break free. He stepped up on the dais and rested one knee against the
edge of the bed as he leaned over her. He braced himself with one hand on the bed, letting the
other trail up her leg and along the outside of her thigh. He smiled as her eyes darkened to a
steely gray.
Angelus lifted his hand and placed it on her shoulder, pushing her back onto the bed. He
smoothed out the sheets and blankets, making her as comfortable as possible. He loomed over
her and slid his leg over both of hers, effectively pinning her to the bed. He cocked his head as
he looked down at her; he could smell how aroused she was. As it mixed with that ever-
present scent of jasmine, he growled, feeling the dull pain of hunger stirring within him. Her
hand reached up to draw him down for a kiss. Angelus teased her, nipping at her bottom lip, his
tongue dipping elusively between her parted lips. He heard her moan deep within her throat
and he submitted to her waiting mouth. Their tongues sparred with each other and he lost
himself in her taste. She was sweet and soft, willing and yearning to please.
His fingers entwined with hers as he pinned her hands above her head. He moved over
her, unconsciously rubbing his hard shaft against her. She raised her hips, seeking greater
contact. As she writhed beneath him he caught his senses and leaned back. The look in his eyes
was wicked as he removed one of his hands and lightly touched her cheek. He slipped his knee
between her legs and parted her thighs with tantalizing slowness. She gasped as she felt his
finger slide over her through the thin, silky material. He taunted her with light caresses here
and there, his hand tickling the insides of her thighs. Her silver eyes were pleading with him.
"Beg me," he commanded softly.
Her soft red lips parted and her eyes sparked with fire. He loved antagonizing her.
"Never," she hissed.
He smiled flippantly and lazily zigzagged a path over her cleft, teasing the sensitive
flesh. He could feel the wetness seeping out between her legs. "Mmmmm. Your choice," he
murmured.
Her hips arched upwards in a vain attempt. "Uh-uh-uh," he told her, pushing her back
down. "No cheating, dearest."
Her eyes were hazy with need. "Please," she whispered.
"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" He slipped his fingertip inside her. He rubbed her
core of sensitivity and she screamed out hoarsely. Gathering the excess fabric, he slipped two
fingers inside her hot, wet center. Despite her cold demeanor, she was burning inside. He
moaned as he felt her struggling beneath him. "Be a good girl," he gritted out between clenched
teeth, "or I might just stop altogether." She could tell he was bluffing, but she settled down
anyway. As he began to stroke her she had to stop herself from whimpering. Every time he
thrust into her, his fingers pulled the thin fabric, causing it to graze and rub her clit. The
simultaneous stimulation quickly drove her over the edge and she tensed around his fingers.
Noticing that she was almost there, he quickly withdrew his fingers and pushed the gown above
her hips. Before she could even cry out at his absence, he'd replaced his fingers with his mouth.
At the touch of his tongue she spasmed around him. Her fingers were buried in his hair, holding
him as she rocked up against him. He licked her tangy-sweet juices from her and leaned up
from between her legs, leering down at her.
She lifted her hand to his face. "My Angel, my Angel, my Angel, my Angel...." she
softly chanted over and over as she traced his features possessively. He didn't mind it this time.
He climbed over her and lowered his body to hers. His lips caught hers in an unexpectedly
sweet kiss that she had no choice but to surrender to. As he pulled away from her, his hands
slipped between their bodies. He heard her gasp quietly as he tore the gown right down the
middle and slid it from her body.
"Wha-?" She was cut off by another swift kiss. This was designed to catch her off
guard as he captured her hands and tied them firmly to the bedpost with the torn gown. She
backed away slightly and looked at him, her hot eyes roaming over his body.
"I think you have far too many clothes on," she told him.
Angelus grinned at her and shrugged out of his coat. It was followed quickly by his
white silk shirt. Her gaze practically scalded him. He slowly unbuttoned his black trousers
and slid them down over his hips. Her eyes widened appreciatively as his arousal sprang free.
He kicked his pants off over his already bare feet and looked down at her. "Stop looking at me
that way or we won't be able to enjoy this," he growled at her. The bright smile on her face
showed him that she knew he was only playing with her. "I do so love seeing you tied up and
helpless," he told her. The hunger was screaming inside of him.
His fingertips trailed lightly over her breasts. He ran his palms over her erect nipples
and she shivered under him. "Cold?" he whispered.
She laughed breathlessly. "Extremely hot," she corrected him.
Angelus chuckled, the sound foreign to his own ears, and cupped her breasts. He leaned
down as she arched into his hands. He placed feather-light kisses at the base of her neck and
trailed them down between the smooth, full mounds. His tongue traced circles around one of
the hardened pebbles before drawing it into his mouth to suckle it. He teased the other nipple
with the pad of his thumb before pinching and twisting it till the point of pleasure-pain. She
moaned loudly and ran her foot up and over the back of his thigh, to hook her leg around his
waist. Her hips rocked upwards, enjoying the feel as the length of his hard member rubbed
back and forth against her womanhood. Knowing that her fierce desire was only a shadow of
his intense need, Angelus rose to kneel in front of her. His hands made a light path over her
body, wrapping around her as he reached her waist and caressing the tight, silky cheeks of her
buttocks. He held her thighs from behind and slowly parted them as he moved closer to her center.
His scorching gaze never left hers as he positioned himself to enter her. With a vicious smile
he lifted her left leg over his shoulder and held the right one hooked over his hip. He slid the
tip of his shaft inside her ever so slowly and held her down as she tried to move. Every inch he
leaned forward, the more he slipped inside her tight, hot, slick confines, and the more he spread
her open to him. "Tell me what you want," he told her.
Kiara tossed her head and her arms were taught against her bindings. Her eyes were
like silver sparks as she looked up at him, passion burning in her gaze like a wildfire. "I....want
you...to....."
"To...?" he provoked her.
"I...want...you...to...fuck...me," she bit out harshly.
"Always ready to oblige," he said, and rammed into her violently. She screamed out
and felt like she was being torn apart. He drew out slowly, letting her get used to the feel of
him. However, she immediately bucked her hips under him, seeking the return of his rigid
manhood. With a grin he slid into her and began to establish a slow, sensuous rhythm. Her
head tilted back as they moved together. His long, slow strokes became harder as he eyed the
sleek curve of her neck. Her eyes opened and they held each other's gazes as they made love.
He could see everything she felt for him in those guileless eyes. So silver. They reminded
Angelus of the large mirror, so big and glossy. And yet, here in her eyes, he could see his
reflection. And he loathed himself. He thrust into her, savoring the feel of her wetness sliding
over him and onto the bedding beneath them. He listened as the sound of their bodies slapping
together filled the room. He smelled their combined scents. And he lost control. He ripped the
tattered gauze from her wrists, needing to feel her hands upon his body. Immediately he could
feel her grasping at his muscled back, her nails digging into his skin. As he pumped into her
over and over, he let her leg slide down his arm and she wrapped both of her legs around his
waist, allowing him deeper entry. He drove into her like an animal, no set rhythm though she
followed his lead effortlessly. It was fast and hard. Angelus heard a deafening noise, and
realized it was he who was growling so loudly. Without even looking at her he knew his game
face had presented itself. Her nails drew his blood and he could smell it. All of the muscles in
his body tensed as he lowered her gently back down to the bed, never stopping. He could tell
she was almost to the brink of this madness. Gazing into the blazing silver pools of her eyes, he
leaned over her. He felt her begin to tense around him and reveled in the feeling of her velvet
warmth spasming around him. With a snarl he buried himself in her tight channel. Her back
arched up off of the bed, and as her muscles tightened around him he almost cried out at the
sweet pain. Her black hair fanned out around her. She met him thrust for thrust as he felt his
own orgasm rising within him.
"I love you, My Angel," she whispered.
Angelus roared and sank his fangs into the tender flesh of her neck. In his subconscious
he was aware that she too had her fangs buried within his own neck, and that the cycle of blood
passed between them was only heightening their climax. As she clenched around him one last
time, he plunged into her - jarring both of their bodies, but breaking neither bond - and felt both
his seed and his blood spill into her.
Hazily he realized that....
Angel woke with a yell and was surprised to find that he was covered in a cold sweat.
Both Buffy and Willow came running into the apartment from outside, worried looks upon their
innocent faces. He was gasping for breath though he did not need it. From the way they were
watching him, he was sure he was a mess. He could tell from the open doors that it was dusk.
He looked around. "Where's Kiara?" he asked sharply.
Buffy was taken aback by his behaviour. "I...she must still be sleeping."
He nodded, trying to gather his wits. The dream was still with him though, and he was
shaken. He knew there was something he was supposed to remember, but he didn't know what
it was....
"The gang's gonna be here in about an hour, if you wanna get cleaned up," Willow
offered hesitantly.
Angel nodded to her. He tried to muster a kind smile for them, but found it was not in
him. He stood up wearily and walked into his room. Again Kiara was not there. He did not
understand, but he didn't dwell on it. He picked out a suit and went to take a shower.
* * *
The group strolled aimlessly into The Inferno. It hadn't been a pleasant ride over. Buffy
was curled up in Aidan's lap and Angel refused to talk to anyone. It didn't seem as if he was
pouting, merely preoccupied. Cordy and Xander were bickering childishly in the back and
Spike watched on, thoroughly disgusted with the whole lot of them. Only Willow and Oz were
immune to it all, because they were only focused on each other.
They immediately split up
when they entered the dark room. Buffy, Aidan, Willow and Oz charged the dance floor.
Willow gave Buffy a thumbs up sign, happy that she seemed to be consciously making an effort
to remain with her *boyfriend* for the night. Cordelia snagged the nearest hot guy, who jumped
at the chance to do the beauty's bidding. Xander watched this with a sneer. Spike and Angel
were immediately aware of a strange presence in the room, which was explained as soon as the
crowd split. Kiara was sitting on a black leather couch about twenty feet away from the door.
There were men crowding around her, but Spike could still make out her svelte form. He
noticed with a grin that the dress she had on was almost an exact replica of the one from the
night before, only done in a shimmery blood red. It wet his appetite. He walked towards her,
unaware that Xander was on his heels, with Angel trailing them both.
"'Allo, luv" he said, the ever present smirk on his face widening to a grin as he saw the
shock in her eyes.
"Why Spike," she purred. "What? Now that I don't bring you to your knees, you feel
brave enough to walk right up to me? Are you sure I won't bite, *luv*?"
His eyes narrowed. "I look forward to having your mouth on me, pet," he replied
smoothly.
Xander threw his arm around Spike's shoulder. "So you're telling me this is how that
charm thing works? And here I thought it was that sexy British accent that got you all the gals."
His dark eyes roamed over Kiara and he whistled in stunned appreciation. "You're right. She
is a goddess."
Her eyes wandered over Spike, then to Xander with a warm smile. "Hi. We haven't
met. You wanna dance?"
Xander's eyes got big. "Y-y-yeah. S-s-sure -" he stuttered.
"I think not," Angel said, pushing his way between the two of them. "There will be no
dancing with either of these two."
Both Spike and Xander turned on him, ready to fight. Angel ignored them.
"Now," he said. "Why don't we start with you telling me where you've been. And how
you keep leaving my home."
Kiara's eyes were a cool silver as she appraised him. "I was under the impression that
almost anybody could work a doorknob. However, if you need assistance, I'll be happy to help
you."
Spike snickered.
Angel watched her, unsure of her new mood towards him. Suddenly, it came to him.
He looked deeply into her eyes. "You've been having them too, haven't you?" he asked softly.
She looked away. "I don't know what you're talking about."
He smiled. "You can't fool me, Kiara." He knelt down in front of her. "You know what
this is doing to me. And I can see what it's doing to you. Why don't you tell me how to stop this
before it destroys us all?" He wanted it to stop. He wanted the hunger and desire to leave him.
He was used to having to control his darker side, but what she made him feel was almost too
much.
When she looked back to him he thought he saw tears in her eyes. "I can't do that."
"Yes, you can," he urged her.
Spike hauled Angel up by his shoulders and thrust him away. "Why don't you just leave
the lady alone, peaches?"
Angel wrapped his fists in the lapels of Spike's leather trench and dragged him forward.
"You have no idea what you're getting involved in, Spike. Why are you here anyway?
Shouldn't you be pining over Dru?"
"It's because of you, you bloody prick, that she won't have anything to do with me
anymore. She says I'll never be the same again. That I'm only a shadow of what I used to be."
Angel threw Spike away from him. "Maybe she's right."
Kiara stood and moved between them. "Boys," she glanced back and forth between
them. She pushed Spike onto the couch. "You sit." She pushed Angel towards the dance floor.
"You dance." She smiled at Xander. "And you. Maybe we can have that dance another time."
She looked wisely across the room towards Cordelia. Cordy was talking and laughing and
reigning as the May Queen. "But for now, I think there's someone else you need more."
Xander looked at her, realizing she was older and wiser than she appeared. In his heart
he wanted to be with Cordy, and this girl saw that. He nodded, bemusedly, and walked off.
Kiara sat down next to Spike and watched as the other two men retreated.
He grinned lasciviously as she turned to him. "Ahhh....now that we're alone -"
"Hardly," she cut him off. "Come find me when you're ready to control your hormones,
*luv*." She smiled at him and danced off into the shadows once again.
He cursed lowly and watched speculatively as Angel approached the Slayer and her
new boy toy.
Aidan smiled down at Buffy. Her arms were tight around him and she'd rested her head
upon his chest. "So, how was your day?"
She sighed softly. "It was ok. Willow and I had a long talk. She....she helped point out
to me that I need to make some choices."
"Oh really? What kind of choices?" His gaze was dark and wary as he listened to her.
Buffy shrugged. "Just that I may need to get over this moping to the max. She hinted that
I may be....errr....may be making a mistake in the people I choose to be around."
Aidan was about to question this when Angel walked up to them.
Angel laid his hand softly on Buffy's shoulder. "Can we talk? About this afternoon?"
Buffy looked up to him, hesitant to agree. However, she was unable to deny him. With
a smile to Aidan, she moved with Angel. Her sigh was different this time as her eyes wandered
over him. He was beautiful in the soft black suit and starkly contrasting white silk shirt. It was
only when Angel put his arms around her that she realized they were on the dance floor. *Oh
no, not this again.* The music had yet to start and the crowd was milling about.
"I want to apologize for this afternoon," he said.
"What's it?"
He exhaled loudly. "I shouldn't...I shouldn't have been so...."
"Been so what, Angel?" she looked up at him. "There's no way you have to be.
Especially since...."
Unconsciously they began moving together, both lost in their own thoughts and regrets.
What ravages of Spirit
Conjured this tempestuous rage
Created you a monster
Broken by the
rule of Love
And fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do
And fate has led you
though it
You do what you have to do
I had the sense
To recognize
That I don't know how to
let you go
With a moan Willow observed Buffy and Angel over Oz's shoulder.
"Why do we keep doing this?" Buffy mused aloud. "Why do we torture ourselves? I
know I can't be near you, but I can't stay away from you either."
He cupped her face in his hands. "I let you go once. Because I know it's the best for
you. But I love you so much. I don't know if I know how to let you go again."
Every moment marked
With apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving
Trying to
escape this desire
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
The yearning to be near
you
I do what I have to do
And I had the sense
To recognize
That I don't know how to let you
go
I don't know how to let you go
As the pair danced, they listened to the music. As if on cue, they looked at each other
and burst out laughing.
"How perfect, huh?" he asked, wiping away the tears of mirth from her lovely green
eyes.
She smiled her thousand watt smile and it warmed his heart. They wrapped their arms
around each other, holding each other in a tight, platonic embrace. "You were my greatest
friend, Angel. Maybe that's why I loved you so much. I could tell you anything. And I knew,
that in some way, you'd always understand."
A glowing ember
Burning hot
And burning slow
Deep within I'm shaken
By the violence of
existing
For only you
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can't be with
you
I do what I have to do
And I had the sense
To recognize
But I don't know how to let you
go
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go
"I'm not happy, Angel. I...I don't know if I ever can be. Everyone says that you move
on. You get over it. But..."
"Shhhh," he told her, placing his fingertips over her soft lips. "I know I may not be the
best one to ask, but I don't know if they're right. I'm never just going to 'get over' you Buffy.
You'll be with me forever. You're my heart. But the truth of the matter is, you don't need me in
your life. It's better for you if I'm not around. And when I have to face things, I know that I
would have to let you go eventually. And-"
She looked up at him, her eyes burning furiously. "Don't! Don't you tell me what's
*best* for me. I live my life. I go out there and do what I have to do, knowing it just may be the
last night I see. But it's my life, and I've come to grips with it. This is who I am. I didn't want
it to turn out this way. I didn't want to be the Chosen One. I didn't ask for it. But then, my life
isn't ruled by the logical. When everything else is dictated to me by Councils or prophecies or
demons trying to even the score....don't you tell me how I should love." She spun around and
stalked off.
Angel felt like he was falling. The room began to spin. He was torn in the confusion of
emotions. Buffy was walking away and he wanted to stop her, but he felt as if he couldn't
move. The pull on him from an unnamed source was too great. There was a war going on
inside of him and he couldn't even make a sound. In one calm place, deep inside of himself, he
knew he didn't look any different on the outside. But inside...inside he was struggling to stay
sane. It felt like there were two different people inside of him, trying to take control of his
mind, his thoughts, his emotions. Life seemed to be going by in slow motion as he turned his
head in the direction of the most prevalent pull upon him. What he saw left a bitter taste in his
mouth, but he stared on in morbid fascination.
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