Disclaimers, See Part 1
Email: LunarMyth


==========


She was in her mother's house. He stood outside of her window as he'd done so many times before. But years had passed since then. He watched as she walked into her old room, so familiar to her and yet so strange.

Her golden hair was still damp from the shower and she was dressed in a simple, white, satiny night gown. The straps slid over the smooth skin of her shoulders, but she disregarded them, content to let her gaze wander over the room as memories flooded her mind. Times she'd thought she'd almost forgotten flew back to her in a rush, as if the past years had never happened. Buffy reached down to pick up Mr. Gordo from her bed. She held him and remembered the time he'd been cradled in his strong hands.... With a sigh she set him softly on her nightstand. Her fingertips trailed over her bedspread. Bits of conversation fluttered in and out of her memory.

*Um, why don't you take the bed? Y'know, you're wounded....*

*I'll take the floor.*

*Y'know, I'm the Chosen One, it's my job to fight guys like that. What's your excuse?*

*Uh, somebody has to.*

*Y-you even look pretty when you go to sleep.*

*Well, when I wake up it's an entirely different story.*

*Angel?*

*Hmm?*

*Do you snore?*

*I don't know. It's been a long time since anybody's been in a position to let me know.*

Buffy shook herself mentally and walked over to her vanity. She pulled out the dainty chair and sat down, staring at herself in the mirror.

"Who are you?" she asked the reflection.

There was no answer. And of course there wouldn't have been. If there was, she might have something to wigg about. Why was she here, melancholy as memories of a time long gone passed through her, when her wedding day was tomorrow? She should be happy and excited and filled with dreams of the wondrous times ahead. Instead she was on the verge of crying for dreams long dead.

*This isn't a fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live Happily Ever After.*

*No. When you kiss me, I want to die.*

Angel stood in the shadows and watched her talk to herself in the mirror. How many times had he seen her do that exact same thing? He could almost see her memories; he knew them all by heart.

She was getting married tomorrow. His heart had to admit, albeit achingly, that she would be the most beautiful bride. This Riley Finn man was the luckiest man in the world, in Angel's opinion. He watched as she smiled brightly into the silver glass. If he hadn't been so lost in his own misery, perhaps he would have noticed the pained look in her smile or the brittle, glassy look in her large green eyes. But as it stood, Angel only saw her for the happy bride-to-be everyone thought she was.

"Mrs. Riley Finn," she said to herself. "Buffy Finn." Her smile cracked as she said the name. What kind of name was Buffy Finn? She supposed it was better than having *no* last name though. "Mrs. Angel.....?" she laughed harshly. She didn't even know his last name. She took a deep breath. "Mrs. Buffy Summers-Finn. Well, that sounds a bit better. Like some sort of horrible tropical fish, but better than Buffy Finn." She opened the vanity drawer and lifted out a box in order to reach her brush. Just as she was about to replace it, she hesitated. She picked the box up and moved to her bed, switching on her stereo as she did. Her laugh was somewhat bitter when she heard the tune on the radio.


I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories


With trembling fingers she reached out and touched the clasp. Carefully, as if afraid of breaking it, she opened the box. Inside were two smaller boxes. She lifted the first one and smiled slightly. She traced the silver cross with her fingertip.

*Who are you?*

*Let's just say...I'm a friend.*

*Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a friend.*

*I didn't say I was yours.*

Angel watched her examine something inside of a small box. He couldn't tell what it was from his vantage point, but he could hear her music. He knew this song. How many times had Cordelia played it in the office? It had been burned into his head because of her overplaying it, but he knew the real reason he'd never chastised her for it. It reminded him so much of Buffy.


Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories


Her fingers played with the chain. Even then he'd been concerned for her safety. Concerned. Not many people were concerned about her. They all felt she could take care of herself. And of course, she could. But it still felt nice to be cared for like that once in a while.

*I watched you, and I saw you called. It was a bright afternoon out in front of your school. You walked down the steps...and...and I loved you.*

*Why?*

*'Cause I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see. And I worried that it would be bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life I wanted to keep it safe...to warm it with my own.*

Her gaze dropped to the smaller box, and she froze. She didn't really want to touch it, did she? Her thumb toyed with the engagement ring on her left ring finger, twisting it and moving it around.

*I have something for you. For your birthday. I...I was gonna give it to you earlier, but....*

*It's beautiful.*

*My people -- before I was changed -- they exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It's a claddagh ring. The hands represent friendship, the crown represents loyalty...and the heart.... Well, you know.... Wear it with the heart pointing towards you. It means you belong to somebody.*

Angel watched as she slipped her engagement ring off and replaced it with another ring. He didn't want to believe what he saw. But he knew. He knew it was the ring he'd given her.


I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard
But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories


Fat, hot tears ran down her cheeks. She didn't want to cry. Didn't want to remember everything she'd put so far behind her. This wasn't the past. It was her life, and tomorrow she was marrying Riley. He'd been so good to her over the past four years. When she'd met him, her heart was still broken and aching over Angel. But with her friends' help and Riley's nurturing attitude and acceptance of the person she was, Buffy had eventually moved on. She wouldn't deny the fact that it hurt every now and then. But she had to get on with her life. Otherwise she'd die.

She loved Riley. She really did. He was sweet and caring and strong. He understood what she did and why she did it. No, he wasn't Angel. He didn't have Angel's strong embrace or annoyingly stealthy habits. He wasn't broody and he didn't practice Tai Chi with her. He wasn't a vampire and he didn't have any kind of sensors that let him know when she was in danger or how she felt exactly. But that was to be expected. He had the important qualities. He loved her, he was human, he was present, and he wanted to marry her. How could she turn down all of that. Riley was her last chance at a "normal" life. Riley was safe. Riley wouldn't leave her.

*I'll never have a normal life.*

*Right, you'll always be a Slayer. But that's all the more reason why you should have a real relationship instead of this, this freak show.*

*I'm gonna go.*

*I'm sorry. Buffy, you know how much I love you. It kills me to say this.*

*Who are you to tell me what's right for me? You think I haven't thought about this?*

*Have you, rationally?*

*No. No, of course not. I'm just some swoony little schoolgirl, right?*

*I'm trying to do what's right here, okay? I'm trying to think with my head instead of my heart.*

*Heart? You have a heart? It isn't even beating!*

*Don't.*

*Don't what? Don't love you? I'm sorry. You know what? I didn't know that I got a choice in that. I'm never gonna change. I can't change. I want my life to be with you.*

*I don't.*

*How am I supposed to stay away from you?*


I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light
And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
And I will remember you
Will you remember me?


Buffy slipped the ring off. It was better not to think of what might have been. With a soft sigh she closed the box and slipped it under her bed, half hoping she'd forget she ever had it. She leaned over and turned her lamp off. Tomorrow was her wedding day. Buffy slipped under the covers, letting her comforter and pillows muffle the sound of her wretched sobs.

Angel watched silently from outside her window. He didn't know if he wanted her to remain oblivious to him or not. This had been harder than he expected. He hadn't even intentionally spied on her. He'd wanted to talk to her. To wish her well and to congratulate her. With a heavy heart he noted the way her tiny body moved under the nest of covers. If he tried hard enough, he could hear her cries.


Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Weep not for the memories


==========


"Buffy!" Willow cried. "I can't believe you're getting married tonight!"

Buffy smiled wanly. "Neither can I," she murmured.

Willow noted her friend's unhappy countenance with concern. "What's wrong? You don't look so good. Brides are supposed to glow. I'm not seeing the light here."

"Rough night," she said, rubbing at the dark circles beneath her eyes.

"Are you sure that's all it is?" Willow questioned quietly. They were sitting at Mrs. Summer's breakfast table and planning their day over coffee. Willow was going to pick up their dresses and bring over lunch. Cordelia was coming over then and was going to help with hair and make-up. They were determined to make Buffy's day as relaxed as possible.

"Positive," Buffy assured her, trying to make her smile brighter. She'd barely slept a wink, her dreams having been inhabited by a vampire who wasn't of the soulless persuasion.

Willow nodded. "So, have you two decided where you're going on your honeymoon?"

She nodded and handed her friend the plane tickets.

"Oooohhh! Greece? Romantic." Willow rifled through the papers and looked up. "Ummm...Buff? Are...are you aware that these are one way flights?"

Buffy nodded without looking up. "Yep."

"But when are you coming home?"

"I don't know, Will. I told you, I have to get away. For a long time. And now that...." she stopped.

Willow watched Buffy carefully. There was a sadness in her eyes that hadn't been there earlier. "Now that what?"

Buffy bit her lip and mulled over the question. "Nothing, really. Just...now that I'm...getting married, well, it'll be easy to get away for a while."

"Oh. Yes, I suppose that's true. But I don't think you should stay away too long. I know you need to get away, but please, Buffy. I want to see you again before I leave."

"Don't worry, Will," Buffy smiled. "I'll always be around somewhere. You'll see me again. Promise."


================


"It's gallingly common," Cordelia said, looking at Buffy in the mirror. "But I have to admit, you're good simple."

"I think she means you look beautiful," Willow said, standing behind Buffy's other shoulder. "Which you do. I'm finally seeing that radiance."

Buffy sighed as she looked into the reflective glass. Her dress was a floor length, white, strapless sheath. The thin fabric clung to her body subtly, outlining all of her best features. It was alluring, yet innocent. The shining waves of her hair cascaded over her shoulders, glinting with golden highlights in the artificial light of the Finn's guest bedroom. One of the many. They were using his parent's palatial estate for the wedding. The grounds behind the house were decorated very similarly to the way Riley had set up the small cafe. It was a very...romantic setting.

"So, this is it. You're signing your life away," Cordelia was saying.

"At least you haven't lost your graceful sense of tact, Cordelia. It was something we all loved in you," Willow said.

"I can't help it if I think she's making a horrible mistake," she hesitated and looked into Buffy's gaze, reflected in the mirror. "Which I fully back you on," she tried to cover.

"No," Buffy said softly. "It's okay. You think this is wrong." She'd been withdrawn all day, which only served to further Cordy's misgivings about the wedding. Add that to the fact that Cordelia knew Angel was in town, and that she knew just how much Angel was still in love with Buffy, and it did not equal out to a balanced formula.

Buffy smiled at her friends in the mirror. They were her bride's maids, dressed in matching black replicas of Buffy's dress. She didn't know why she'd picked black, but it felt appropriate. It was also odd to have all three dresses match, but Buffy rather hoped deep down that it would make her a little less conspicuous.

A knock sounded on the door and Cordelia went to open it. Willow kissed Buffy on the cheek. "It's all going to work out fine," she tried to reassure her. "And look....I think that's the blushing groom right now."

Buffy turned. "What? No! You're not supposed to see me until the wedding!"

Riley laughed and walked into the boudoir. "Not to worry. I don't believe in superstitions. Besides, I wanted to see my perfect little bride one more time before she's mine forever."

Buffy smiled slightly and nodded to the two girls. Willow caught on and dragged Cordelia out by her arm. "Okay," she called back. "We'll just be mingling in the gardens if you need us. I'll send Spike back to walk you down the aisle." Buffy had wanted Giles to "give her away", but he'd refused on the grounds that "it wasn't the right thing to do". He hadn't elaborated, and it had broken her heart to hear him so adamantly against it.

"...to Greece in the morning. I was thinking we could spend a week there, then move on to France. Then England. And you know, I've always wanted to visit Prague."

Buffy couldn't help it as a small snicker escaped her at the mention of Prague. Perhaps they'd run into Drusilla.

"...sound okay to you, love?" he asked.

Buffy looked up into her fiance's eyes. Her gaze skimmed over his features, so familiar, yet so vague. Her tongue ran over her lips as she continued to stare at him, almost unseeingly.

Riley reached out and rests his hands on her shoulders. "Are you okay, darling?" he asked. He could see the fine sheen of perspiration beginning on her forehead.

A light dawned in her hazel eyes; surprise, understanding and acceptance forming a glow of revelation on her face. "Cold feet," she murmured as she nodded.

Riley looked at her in confusion before he laughed and drew her to him, wrapping her in a tight hug. "Don't worry about it, Buff. Lots of women get cold feet before their weddings. It's a natural occurrence."

Buffy shook her head and wrested herself from his grasp. A soft smile of wonderment caused her whole face to light up. "No," she whispered, more to herself than to him.

Riley watched on in concern. "Buffy, what is it? Tell me what's wrong?"

Buffy took his hands in hers and looked up at him again. "I can't marry you," she told him bluntly.

His eyes widened in shock. "What? You're talking crazy. You can marry me. In fact, we're supposed to be getting married right *now*. You can't let a small case of jitters sway you...."

But she wasn't listening to him. "No," she began softly. "NO," she said, fighting to gain her old spirit back. "When I say I can't marry you, Riley, I mean I won't marry you. I'm not marrying you. And I'm so sorry. I never thought it would end up this way..." she bowed her head as she rambled on and on.

"Why?" he asked hoarsely.

"Cold feet," Buffy said simply. "Cold. Feet. You...you don't have cold feet." A small, nervous giggle burst from her lips. "And I miss that. Oh God, how I miss that. I miss waking up in the middle of the night because cold feet are touching me. I miss feeling cold arms wrapped around me in a tight embrace. I miss the way cold kisses rain down on me, like a winter's shower...." Her voice lowered. "I miss the way cold hands feel against my hot skin and the way the cold seemed to burn me from the inside." Buffy shook her head. "I'm so sorry," she whispered huskily, tears scratching her throat.

"Sorry?" Riley echoed in disbelief. "Sorry?! You couldn't have told me all of this BEFORE the night of our wedding?"

Buffy looked around the room, as if in search of an escape. She didn't know what to say. She hadn't known she'd missed all of those things. But she did know she couldn't live the rest of her life without them.

A bitter laugh escaped him as she remained silent. "Fine. But you know what? I'm not going to be the one to call this wedding off. I'm going out there, and I'm going to wait for my bride. Because I know this is just a case of last minute nerves. And if you're so serious about not marrying me, well, you can just go out there and tell all of our guests your little twisted secrets." Riley turned away from her and walked out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Buffy turned back to the mirror and watched as the tears rolled down her cheeks. What was she going to do now? Just walk away? All of her friends, her family, were out there. Could she just abandon them? And really, what other choice did she have?

As she stood there, she saw the door open and close silently. "Spike, I'm not ready. Can you just give me a minute, please?" she pleaded waveringly, swiping uselessly at the flow of tears. He didn't respond, and the door remained closed. "Look Spike," she said as she turned around, the words dying on her lips.

"I was right," Angel said quietly.

Buffy's brow furrowed in confusion, yet she didn't have the vocabulary to pose her questions at the moment.

Angel could read every thought on her tear streaked face. "You make a beautiful bride," he explained as he strolled forward. "Except for these," he said, his thumbs softly wiping her tears away.

"Angel," she finally choked out. His lips turned up in a half-smile and her heart did the little flip-flop it always did when he looked that sexy.

"I'm here," he said.

"Yeah," Buffy's voice was hushed as she looked up at him. "You are."

Angel raised his head, glancing around the room. "Pretty swanky place you've got here."

"It's his parents'," she said numbly.

"I'm sorry for this," he said.

Her face scrunched up again, as if processing thoughts were too much for her brain at the moment. "Sorry for what?" she asked, but the words were barely out of her mouth before she slumped unconscious into his arms.

Angel stuck the rag saturated with chloroform into his pocket. "For that," he whispered as he lifted her small frame easily in his arms. Moments later, they were off the Finn grounds and riding swiftly through the night.

Spike knocked on the door. "Slayer? You in there? I know women need time, but this is getting ridiculous." After pounding on the door one more time he shouldered his way in, splintering the wood. He jumped back in horror, afraid he'd impale himself with his own stupidity. He couldn't very well walk the Slayer down the aisle as a pile of dust, now could he?

Yet one look into the room and he knew she was nowhere around. Stepping lightly over the door, Spike looked over the room, a small piece of paper catching his attention. Surprisingly enough, it was addressed to him, in a bold, curling script that he was much used to.

Spike closed the short note, his shoulders shaking with laughter. "I'll be damned," he muttered. "He did it. The bloody wanker actually did it." Spike tucked the note into his tuxedo jacket and walked out of the room, whistling. He could barely keep the grin off of his face. He was gonna love watching their reactions to this bit of news.


==============


Angel sat on the edge of his bed, gazing down at the small girl sleeping between his sheets. Well, she wasn't really a girl anymore. Except when compared to him. Two hundred and forty-eight years old...and still kicking. He watched the way her chest rose and fell evenly, the way the her lashes fanned out over her cheeks, the way the soft tendrils around her face moved with her breath. With a slightly shaking hand, Angel reached out and traced the pure line of her bare collarbone. She was so delicate. He hoped he hadn't hurt her.

At his touch, her eyes fluttered open slowly. She was confused and disoriented. The first thing Buffy noticed was that she was not at home. Nor was she at Riley's home. The second thing she noticed was that she was wrapped in soft white sheets and was snuggled deeply into bed. The third thing she became aware of was the throbbing pain in her head, and then finally, of Angel.

Buffy tried to speak, but her mouth was so dry. She ran her tongue over her lips in an attempt to moisten them. "Where am I?" she asked him groggily. "And why am I here? I'm...I'm supposed to be with Riley...." she trailed off as pieced of their conversation came back to her. She'd broken it off with him. An instantaneous feeling of relief flooded through her.

"You're at my place. In Los Angeles," Angel told her, standing up. He turned his back to her and walked around the end of the bed, settling on a small sofa against the wall. Buffy had to turn over in bed just to watch his progress.

"And I'm here because?" Her hazel eyed conveyed her puzzlement even though she was secretly happy to see him. "This is all a bit strange, you've got to admit, Angel."

"You're here because...because I couldn't let you marry him. I thought I could. I just...I couldn't sit back and watch you make that mistake."

If possible, Buffy's eyes opened even wider. "I'm *here* because.... You couldn't *let* me...." she broke off, unable to contain a bitter laugh. "Really?" her gaze challenged him. "And why is that, Angel?"

Angel looked taken aback. "Buffy, I...."

She watched him expectantly, wanting an answer, yet not wanting to hear what he had to say. What if he had only kidnapped her because he knew she wasn't happy? Or what if he'd taken her because he'd finally realized, as she had only just, that he was the only man for her?

Angel couldn't handle her accusing stare. "Spike," he said, grasping for a reason to justify his actions.

"Spike?" Buffy repeated incredulously.

"Yes," Angel nodded, trying to convince himself also. "Spike made it seem that marrying Riley would be the worst thing for you. So, I did the only thing I knew to do. I mean," he looked at her, veiled hope shining in his eyes, "I doubt that if I were to have tried to sit you down and talk to you rationally that you would have listened. You were getting married," he said softly. "It's not like you would have stopped it just because I asked," he told her, his voice slowing down with hesitancy. "Right?"

Buffy almost laughed out loud. He didn't know she actually had called her wedding off because of him. Yet she saw the look in his eyes and heard the thread of wanting in his voice. She knew her own gaze held a hesitant answer. That is, to the real question -- not exactly what they were discussing. He wanted to know if she'd accept him back, and Buffy was willing to offer a temporary trust in order to forge that first, tenuous link. "No, I suppose not many brides would do that," she conceded quietly.

Angel stood up and took a few faltering steps towards the bed. Towards Buffy. "Look, I...." There was so much to be said. It was amazing that she still had the power to make him speechless. But no. If this was going to work at all, he had to make her see. He had to let her know that he wouldn't settle for less than all of her. He had to make her realize that he was the only one for her, and vice versa. And that meant he had to take control of the situation, pronto.

"No," he said stubbornly. "I'm not sorry I did it. The way I see it, I did you a favor."

Buffy arched a brow and opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off before she could get started.

"No," he said again. "You just listen. I think you said everything you had to say in that letter of yours." Now that he'd gotten started, he was really getting riled up. He pulled the chair away from his desk and set it next to the bed.

She watched with fascination as his long legs straddled the back, pulling his pants tight over his large, muscular thighs. "Angel, I -"

"It's *my* turn to talk." Angel rested his arms on the back of the chair and stared at her. It was hard looking at her, lying in his bed, her hair tumbling over her shoulder as she leaned up on one arm. The top of her dress was hidden beneath the sheets, giving the appearance that she was nude beneath the covers. But he *had* to stop his imagination from running away with him. "What exactly were you thinking, planning to leave Sunnydale? Don't you know how much that place needs you? Your its only hope. And what about your mother? And Giles? What will they do if you leave? You don't even have a specific plan, you're just going to hop on a plane and head off into the sunset. What if someone needs your help? What if *you* need someone's help?" Ahhh, the heart of the matter. How could she just leave him?

Buffy could see exactly where this was heading. "What was I thinking?" she repeated harshly. "I was thinking that I couldn't sit by and watch everyone I love walk away. I was thinking that losing the people that mean the most to me would only bring back memories." Her eyes flashed. "And of course I know my destiny is on the Hellmouth. It's not something I can escape forever, you know. I'll never be free of it. But weren't you one of the primary people wanting me to have a more *normal* life? It wasn't like I wasn't going to call or write. I care about these people enough not to just *disappear*," she said, a bit bitterly. "Unlike some people," she mumbled under her breath, though Angel's extraordinary hearing picked it up. "I was getting married," she continued stubbornly. "I thought I'd have all the help I needed in a husband."

"What could he have done for you? You know as well as I do that if you ever ran in to trouble, Riley Finn couldn't save you if his life depended on it. Which it would, because if anything ever happened to you while you were in his care, I'd kill him myself."

"How very Angelus of you," she remarked snidely.

Angel didn't flinch. "No," he said calmly. "That's me. Me, Buffy. I'd gladly kill anyone who let harm come to you."

Buffy swallowed tightly and averted her gaze. She knew, had always known, the truth in that.

Angel watched her closely. "Yeah," he told her smoothly. "I'm not the 'angel' you think I am. Not when it comes to you." A delicious gleam entered his gaze as his dark eyes roamed over her body, marking her as his own. "You know, I think you've forgotten who I am. I know I almost did. When I came back from Hell, I was so weak. So...guilty. I lost myself in you, would have done anything to gain your love and trust again. I was too blind to see that you loved me regardless. I so willingly became your slave, wouldn't you say?" Angel smiled slightly at the thought. "But we both know that's not who I am. Things were different when I returned. Not just between you and me, but between everyone. Innocence was lost. The way things were...it made it that much easier to let you go. Don't get me wrong, leaving you almost killed me. But I truly thought it was for the best. Who I was...what I had become...was of no use to you, Buffy. You can't really deny that. I was your lap dog. And though I love you, that's not who I was meant to be. You and I are equals, Buffy, and it's time we realized that. You fight, I fight...but we should be fighting together. I was sent to you to help you. To protect you. What did I do? I caused you more trouble than I was worth, hindered you, and ultimately relied on you. And I think you enjoyed it, on some level. With all of your ups and downs, your mixed signals, I couldn't even be a man around you." Angel watched as Buffy's eyes grew larger and larger; she was stunned. He shrugged. "But not anymore. I can't do that. We both needed time to grow, Buffy. Which may seem impossible for a guy who's over two hundred years old. But it was the first time I'd ever loved also. You weren't alone in that." His voice softened, "You were never alone."

Buffy shook her head "no", too shocked to say anything.

"Yes," he said. "I know I made some mistakes, but I can't deny that you're the only one in my heart. I've tried." Angel sat back and looked at her for a moment. "You were going to marry him," he said with no small amount of disbelief. "I couldn't let you do that. I couldn't lose you."

She tried to blink back her tears. "You're the one who left *me*, Angel. I told you, even then, that you were the only one I wanted in my life. *You* left *me* alone. You turned your back on us, and walked away. What's changed? What is so different now from four years ago? From three years ago? We've all known for a while now that you have a firm grasp on your soul. Why pick now to come forward and proclaim your 'love' for me?" Buffy wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms, but it was too good to be true.

"You're right," he admitted. "I was stubborn. Foolish. I thought I wanted you to move on, to marry some other guy who could make you 'happy'. I thought that if I could just...stay away...that you could live a healthy, normal life." Angel stood up and began pacing. "Which you would have, had I not interrupted your wedding. Despite what you say, you *did* move on, Buffy. I haven't been the only one in your life. So maybe I'm blind. Maybe you are happier with him. But I had to at least try. I couldn't let you go without one last attempt to..." he chuckled. "I don't even really know what I'm trying to do. All I know is that I couldn't let you marry him." He turned his back to her, waiting for her to say something...anything...but she didn't. "If you want to leave, to go back," he said quietly, "the car's outside. But I won't bring you back there."

Again silence filled the room.

"No," she said finally.

Angel clenched his fists tightly. "No what?"

"No. I'm going back. And you *will* bring me. 'Cause I didn't do this and those people need an explanation."

Angel nodded. "Fine," he said tightly. "It's almost daylight, however, so you might as well sleep. We won't be going anywhere for a few hours." Without looking at her, he moved to the door.

"Angel," Buffy called out softly.

"What?" he asked, his voice full of restraint.

She couldn't keep the smile from her face as she watched the muscles in his back tense. "I ummm...I didn't say I was leaving any time soon." Buffy almost laughed as his entire body seemed to tighten reflexively at her gently uttered words.

When he turned around, he saw her as he'd pictured her so many times. She was lounging on his bed, looking tussled and sleepy, a smile on her pink lips and a come hither look in her fathomless hazel eyes. She was offering herself and it was not in him to deny her. In three great strides, Angel was next to the bed, yet as he neared her he hesitated. He didn't want to hurt her. Angel sat down on the edge of the bed and trailed a finger over her cheek, a small smile of amazement tilting his lips up at the corner. His fingertip ran over the pouty curve of her lips, lips he hadn't kissed in forever. Though Angel could see the acceptance in her eyes, he had to hear it.

"Buffy, maybe we shouldn -"

"Angel," Buffy grinned. "Are you going to insist on bringing up the same questions every time we make love?"

His brows rose as her words echoed in his head. Was she was implying that there would be more times that they would...? Before he could ask her, Buffy pulled him down to her. Their kiss was gentle at first. Cold brushed against warm lightly, creating a delicious friction that sent tingles down Buffy's spine. It felt like coming home. She pulled him down more, yearning to feel his hard body pressing into hers. She'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be held in his strong arms.

But Angel wouldn't let her forget. He slowly disentangled her from the sheets, revealing her soft, warm curves encased in the white wedding dress. Gazing down at Buffy, Angel could almost imagine it was *their* wedding night. She looked so perfect...and so perfectly tempting. He cradled her cheek in his palm while his other hand rested on her shoulder.

Buffy sighed as she gazed into his dark eyes. She turned her head and nuzzled his palm, her lips placing light kisses on the sensitive skin. It was so good to feel his coldness against her again. Buffy wondered briefly if she was a sick person for craving it, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was his body next to hers. With tentative hands, Buffy lifted his shirt, not bothering to unbutton it, and drew it off of him, over his head. She sucked in a breath at the sight of his expansive chest. He was so big, and she knew that he would always protect her. As she placed her palm over his undead heart, Buffy knew that if ever need be, this would be her shield. It was a heady thought, knowing that he would give his life to protect hers. But then again, she would do the same for him. The words were lodged in her throat as she stared up at him, yet she was unable to say them.

Angel smiled down at her, taking away any doubts that resided in her mind. As he leaned down to catch her mouth in another tender kiss, he wrapped his arms around her waist and turned over, lying on his back with her body draped over him. His hands roamed over her back, the swell of her hips, and the curve of her ass, and rested on the back of her thighs. As he drew her legs to either side of him, Angel sighed. Buffy nestled against him, settling atop him as her mouth continued working its magic on him. With a quick ease, Angel had her dress unzipped and his hands were dipping into the sweet indentation of her waist, reveling in the warmth of her silken skin.

Buffy smiled as she wiggled against him, working her dress down ever so slightly. With a frenzied hunger that had crept up on her with no warning, Buffy craved the feeling of his body against hers. She braced her hands above his shoulders and leaned up to let him remove the pristine white silk of her wedding dress. As it slid over her body, Buffy felt the last vestiges of any ties to Riley and her life beyond Angel slip away, only to be replaced with a strong sense of homecoming as his arms once again wrapped around her. Her fingertips danced over his features and she stared down at him in wonderment.

"Is this really happening?" she whispered softly as a smile graced her lips. It was a smile he hadn't seen in years and the sight warmed his cold, undead heart. She was with him and finally his world seemed right once more. "If this is just another dream, I don't ever want to wake up," she told him as her forehead dipped down to rest against his.

Angel's answer came from the look of love overflowing in his dark eyes and from the gentle brush of his lips against hers. It was barely a kiss, Buffy knew. And yet, in that gentle sigh, in that meeting of gazes -- so vivid and determined, in that lilting caress, their souls were woven together irrevocably.

She shifted on top of him, the scant movement of her pelvis rising over him to encompass his hard length. He slid into her easily, relishing her tight, scorching confines. The heat she gave off was like liquid sunshine, and Angel was sure he would die -- if not from the blazing inferno, then from the pure unadulterated pleasure of it all. This was his Buffy -- the soft, sweet, passionate woman that he was destined to love for all eternity.

Buffy set a careful pace, her body rocking against his with a tantalizing slowness. She could see the desire burning in her lover's eyes, but she knew he'd hold back. This was important to both of them. It was the first brick in the foundation of their new relationship. Besides, Angel was always careful with her. Buffy was unaware of her serene expression. Angel thought she looked like an angel. He was awash in the glow of her love, and he wondered how he'd ever survived without it. Her small hands rubbed over his taut pectoral muscles and she laughed as they jumped. Could she possibly know that his entire body was sensitive to her touch, to her mere presence? Her fingers ran over his arms, and Buffy smiled again as she languidly toyed with the fine, soft black hair that graced his arms. When her hands met his, they entwined their fingers together, forging yet another bond between them. Their gazes held each other captivated as Buffy continued to make love to him. Every sensation they felt was communicated to the other, and they took joy in each other's pleasure.

Buffy bit her lower lip and her eyes narrowed as she increased her tempo. As she arched her back backwards, her supple bronzed skin and golden locks shimmered in the dim light of the room. The strong muscles of her thighs gripped his hips as she thrust down on him. Angel rose up to meet her every movement. She gasped as he jerked his body upwards, causing a rush of sensations to flood her body, and Angel smiled, never breaking his contact with her. He felt her begin to tighten around him, the heady sense of her surrounding him making him feel as if he were about to explode. It was as if there was no part of his body that she was not touching. The waves washing over him made him wonder if vampires really could fly; at that moment he knew it was possible.

Buffy felt like she was in heaven. The icy touch of her angel seemed to penetrate every cell of her body; there was no part of her that Angel did not occupy. As her climax washed over her, her entire body tensed. A few hot tears rolled down her cheeks. It had been so long since anyone had made her feel this loved, this beautiful, this safe. The emotions thrumming through her body were screaming out for her attention and would not be held back as they had been so often in the past few years. This was Angel. This was the madness he inspired in her, and Buffy reveled in it. She was never so free as when she was with Angel. A little part of her knew that it would never be like this between them again, but it would be good, and sometimes it would be better. But for now, this was the undeniable love and trust and passion between them; that which was always raging just beneath the placid veneer and had been brewing a tempestuous storm for the last four years.

She clenched around him just as he emptied his life into her. Her body was drained and covered in a fine sheen of perspiration that did not seem to bother him as she snuggled into him, not bothering the disconnect herself from him. While they each floated back to reality, and he waited for her breathing to slow, Angel basked in the quiet lull of the room. It was silent, except for her breathing and the slow ticking of the clock. But that didn't bother him. He savored every small sound that came from her. It proved she was real.

"Angel?" he heard her whisper after an eternity.

"Mmmmm?"

"I have a question to ask you," Buffy's soft voice broke the silence once more.

Her words broke through the haze of his satiation. "What is it, Buffy?" he asked with some concern. His brow furrowed and he leaned back to look at her, words of reassurance resting on his lips.

She blush bloomed over her cheeks. "Was I.... I mean, did you.... Well, what I'm trying to ask is..." she faltered at every turn.

Angel smiled slightly, understanding what she could not ask. "Perfect, Buffy. You are perfect in every way. Though I thought you'd be taller..." he mused reminiscently.

Buffy hit him laughingly and settled back down against him, appeased by his answer.

"Angel?" he heard her whisper again after a while.

"Yes?" he grinned against her forehead.

"I have a confession to make."

"What is it?" he asked with a bit of worry.

"I...I..." she started. "IbrokeitoffwithRiley," she rushed out.

It took a few moments for Angel to decipher that. "You what?"

Buffy hid her smile against his chest. "I broke it off with Riley. I told him I wouldn't marry him. You walked in right after that."

Angel was silent. She wondered if he wasn't happy with her.

"Angel?"

"Why?"

It was Buffy's turn to be quiet.

"Because," she began. "I.... I couldn't marry him. I - I didn't love him. And it was only when I was about to walk down that aisle that I realized that...that I couldn't ever love him," she sighed. "Not the way that I love you."

Angel leaned up on his arm and cupped her face in his free hand. "You're my life, Buffy. You were the reason I picked myself up out of the gutters, and you're the reason I fight now. In so many ways, you've given my life meaning. But none more important than the simple fact that I love you."

"And all of those reasons you so stupidly left me for?" she grinned.

Angel shook his head. "They weren't stupid reasons, Buffy. They were valid and just." He saw the slow look of terror enter her eyes and he amended quickly, "But...I need you. And I think in a few ways, you need me too. Yeah, we both know the reasons why we shouldn't be together. But I've had a long time to think about the reasons we should. And there are a couple that stand out predominantly in my mind."

"And those would be?"

Angel looked at her, his soft brown eyes as serious and full of emotion as she remembered them. It made her want to cry. "Because we love each other. And because you deserve happiness. I can't give you much, but if I can give you happiness, who am I to deny you? Besides, a love like ours only happens once in a lifetime. Well, two or three, in my case," he finished with a sardonic smirk.

Buffy traced his lips with a fingertip. "I still remember the first time I saw you," she mused out loud.

"Oh really?" he grinned.

She nodded. "Umm hmm. I think I knew even then that I wouldn't ever get rid of you," she said thoughtfully.

Angel chuckled. "Do you regret that?"

"Not at all," she quipped. "I love you, my cradle-robbing, creature of the night boyfriend."

Angel sighed contentedly and wrapped his arms around her as they fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.





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